Plutocrat Thurston Howell III is defending longtime friend and presumptive GOP presidential nominee John McCain from criticism by “those dreadful, just dreadful one-at-a-time home owners.”

Reached by satellite-phone, Howell a scion of Newport, R.I. society and a 1932 graduate of Harvard College, said that he doesn’t even know how many homes he personally owns.  “Counting homes is for the little people, those wage earners who tend to the bowling green on the estate.”

In 2006, Howell and wife Lovey were listed among Forbes Magazine’s Richest (Fictional) Characters.  Recent claims that Virginia House Speaker Bill Howell is a family-relation have yet to be substantiated.